Drop the Beat, Not the Ball
By Aaron Wulff
“What, how can a DJ ruin my wedding dance?”
This is usually the first response I get when I coach wedding couples on this topic. “Nah, it’ll be fine. We have a great (and expensive) DJ booked.”
Of course you do. But if you’re spending time on a first dance, you’ll want to read this. I’ve heard enough horror stories over the years from my students who wish they would have taken precautions. If you’re spending time to plan your first dance, read on.
Some years ago I was working with a couple that spent several months preparing their first dance, and because I was close to them, making sure they were successful on their big day was important to me.
They had picked a special song, but it had some problems that made it difficult to dance to. It was too long, and long songs usually get boring for both the couple and the guests (I recommend about 2 to 2.5 minutes of dancing for your song. Three minutes, tops.). It also had some slow parts that weren’t “dance-able.”
I spent time reworking the song with music editing software to cut it down to a better length and removed the slow parts of the song. Both of them agreed it was much better for their dance and we created their routine around the new and improved version of the song.
Like a determined couple, they practiced. We put together an entrance, moves to use throughout the song, and an ending that would get an uproarious applause from their guests.
Since these were still the days of burning CDs, I gave the groom a copy of the edited song to deliver to his DJ.
“Did you give it to him,” I asked the groom during our final practice lesson. He had. Mission accomplished, my work was done. What could possibly go wrong?
I got to attend the wedding, and when it was time for the big event the crowd grabbed their cocktails and gathered around the dance floor with anticipation. The DJ introduced the couple, fired up the music, and the magic was on.
Or was it? The music started, but IMMEDIATELY I could tell something was off.
The DJ hadn’t waited for them to get set. They were still walking onto the floor when he started the song. “No problem, they can recover and catch up,” I thought to myself. Suddenly, as I listened to the music, a bolt of panic shot through me. This wasn’t the right song version.
How could this be? The groom had given the DJ the CD!
But it didn’t matter. The DJ had decided to get his own version of the song off iTunes, unedited, and it didn’t match the dance we had put together.
Thankfully, this story has a happy ending, because the couple held their composure and powered through the dance. They smiled. They kept time with the music. The crowd applauded. And, and as often happens, no one could tell the difference.
DJ horror stories are a common complaint I hear from couples. They’ve worked hard on a dance and hammered out their details, all to have their DJ start the music too early, use the wrong song version, or cut the music before their ending.
This isn’t entirely the DJs fault. They get hired to get the party going, but often couples fail to bring them up to speed on the vision and details that they’ve worked out. Here are some tips to make sure you and your DJ (or band) are on the same page.
Interview at least three DJs
Isn’t a DJ a DJ? The short answer is no. DJs come with a wide range of experience and personalities. If you have a beautiful first dance planned, you’ll want to work with a DJ you feel you can trust to get the details right.
This is your party, and since the DJ serves as an emcee for a big part of the night, you want to make sure they can deliver the kind of party atmosphere you’re looking for.
Ask to meet or talk with your DJ over the phone first before you book them. Beyond your questions about your first dance, be sure to ask questions about their overall song selection and how they’ll insure your guests have a good time.
Clearly communicate your first dance plan to your DJ
After you’ve found a DJ who’s a good fit, make sure you have a direct conversation with you them about: things like:
-What your first dance will look like
Do you have special choreography? Give them a description of what you’ll be doing and any cues they should look for. Remind them that this is (probably) one of the most important parts of the evening.
-When to play music and introductions
Do you want the DJ to start the music before you get on the dance floor, or should they wait until you’re in position? Do you want them to introduce you while the music is playing? Be specific about when you want things to happen.
-Requirements for your music
With so many music options and song versions these days it can be easy for DJs to grab the wrong track. If your song is a special version make sure they have the disc, drive, or file you want them to play from, and let them know why it’s important they don’t play it from another source.
If you’re going to have your DJ end your song early, make sure they have a specific cue. If you’re going to strike a certain pose at the end of your dance make sure they know what that is and when to expect it.
Be flexible and prepare for imperfection
I get it, you want this to be the perfect special moment that you can replay on video for years to come. Maybe you spent hours on your dance or paid good money for a dance instructor.
The reality is, your dance probably won’t be perfect, and something unexpected will probably happen. Maybe even after coaching your DJ or band on all the details, they still manage to throw in an epic fail.
So what? Newsflash, your wedding guests aren’t going to notice your mistakes or care that you missed a step. Besides, most of them probably can’t dance anyways, so they won’t know the difference.
You’re both there to celebrate the two of you and have fun. Now go rock your wedding dance. And don’t forget to tip your DJ.
