Why Partner Dancing Is Different
By Aaron Wulff
I’ll admit it, I’ve spent a lot of time surfing YouTube to learn new skills and solve problems. A lot of times it worked. I cooked juicier chicken, stopped my leaking toilet, and learned a few guitar chords all for free.
But there have been many times I wasted a lot of time searching with nothing to show for it, and I wish I would have just contacted a real expert. After hours of searching poor quality videos and bad instructions, I should have called the mechanic that knows my car or paid for an online course taught by someone with real experience.
You’ve got a wedding coming up, so let’s be honest. I want to save you a lot of time and stress. If you want a good wedding dance, don’t look to learn it from YouTube.
I know what you’re saying. “But you can learn anything on YouTube! Why can’t I just go and learn some dance moves?”
You’re getting married and you’re pressed for time and money. Once you get the DJ booked and flowers picked out, you’ll do a quick search on YouTube for “wedding dance” and you’ll be set, right? Unfortunately, I’ve never met a couple that put together their first dance from YouTube (and liked it), and I’ve never met a good partner dancer who learned to dance just from videos.
To be fair, I’m talking about two people dancing with each other. A good old traditional first wedding dance (or parent/father/daughter dance). If you’re just looking to do a “Thriller” flash mob or the “Nae Nae” for your opening act, then YouTube is your best friend.
Partner dancing is different. Couples often come to me for a lesson and exclaim “we saw this move on YouTube!” After we actually test it out they often change their mind or we end up redoing a lot of what they saw. Why?
The first problem is how YouTube works. YouTube’s algorithm isn’t there to show you the best video on how to do a wedding dance. It’s there to figure out how to keep you clicking on more videos and more advertisers.
Try doing a search for “wedding dance” on YouTube, and you’ll get thousands of videos that have nothing to do with what you’re looking for. But they’ll sure look cool! If you’re like me, you’ll watch the cool ones, and then a few hours later get sucked in by videos about the earth being flat and aliens living under Antarctica.
Ok, fine. So let’s say you’re smarter than YouTube’s artificial intelligence and you find some good instructional videos. Not only are there still hundreds to sift through (and don’t you have a wedding to plan?), but how do you know they’re what you’re looking for?
-Has the person worked with a lot of wedding couples?
-Is the person a good instructor, or simply a good dancer?
-Is the video the right level for BOTH you and your partner?
-Is the instructor doing steps and figures that will work with your wedding song?
You get the point…..
There’s another BIG reason YouTube isn’t great for learning your first dance, and it has to do with how dancing works. When it comes to learning something or solving a problem, I divide things into three categories: simple, complicated, and complex.
Simple learning has one path to one right answer. Think of a baking recipe or a math problem. Follow the instructions in order and you’ll (almost) always get the same result. YouTube is great for this.
Complicated learning has multiple paths to a right answer. Ever tried to figure out why your car won’t start? Is it the battery, the starter, or the ignition? Complicated concepts require more expertise, practice, and diagnosis to find the answer. YouTube canTE often help with this, but this is where you might need an expert.
Complex learning has multiple paths to multiple answers. How do you raise a kid, fight a pandemic, or end world hunger? These are challenges that are tough to solve, and not everyone will agree on the same approach or the same results.
Dancing is made up of all of all three of these. And what most couples spend their time on is COMPLEX. You might find a YouTube video on how to do a box step (simple) and even figure out how to put together some moves to your song (complicated). But what about the part where the bride hears a different beat, he leads the spins wrong, or you’re both getting frustrated with each other and don’t want to practice (complex)?
In those cases, you’re going to want help from someone who’s seen those problems hundreds of times, and knows how to fix them quickly. A good instructor can do that for you and save you a lot of time and disagreements. Isn’t planning your wedding already stressful enough?
Save YouTube for the Electric Slide, and find the best professional or course you can to make sure your wedding dance is something special.
